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12 September 2009 @ 10:58 pm
There are a lot of times when I feel lonely
And I call all of my friends
And all of them have perfectly legitimate reasons as to why
They're not answering their phones.

Only I jump to the worst conclusions
Assume everybody hates me
Revert back to ugly fat girl with crooked teeth
Curl up into a ball
And give up on everything.

This is my reminder to myself that I, in fact, am surrounded by love.

An awful day
And after having a night like I just described,
Cara finally called me back
And told me that 10:30 is never too late.

4 glasses of wine
Lots of good conversation
Crashing in her bed
Waking up and hurrying off to class with her the next morning

After rehearsal,
I met Kristina at Buffalo Wild Wings and had a fantastic dinner
David came over and spent the night

2 glasses of wine
2 many episodes of the OC
2 hours of sleep

As soon as David left, Andrea called and said it was time for OC night

4 episodes of The OC
1 episode of Sunny
1/2 bottle of sangria
1 pan of pesto bruchetta

All of it adds up to
A whole lot of love
And a whole lot of friends.

I just need to keep reminding myself that
I'm never alone.

(and I might have an alcohol problem...)

Shelby is: sleepysleepy
Blasting: adult swim
05 July 2009 @ 03:48 pm
It was just one of those things
Just one of those crazy flings
One of those bells that now and then rings
It was one of those things

It was just one of those nights
Just one of those fabulous flights
A trip to the moon on gossamer wings
It was one of those things

If we'd thought a bit about the end of it
When we started jumpin' town
We'd have been aware that our love affair
Was too hot not to cool down

So good-bye, dear, good-bye and amen
Here's hopin' we'll meet now and then
It was great fun
But it was just one of those things
Blasting: Cole Porter: Just One Of Those Things
22 April 2009 @ 11:11 am
The state of the economy is ruining my life:

I found out today that the on-campus location of Park Ave CDs is closing.
Big deal...the main location is still open and I only buy a CD there every once in a while.

But I got SO. SAD. when I found out.
I feel like one of my friends just died or something.

I know that sounds like I'm blowing it out of proportion,
But get this:

I first got into music when I first got to college, and that store helped fuel my new passion.
I bought concert tickets there.
I bought giant posters there.
I bought used CDs there.
I bought AP magazines there (before I got smart and subscribed).

When Amanda and I were friends, we'd meet up there every MWF in between classes.

I met Army of Me there.
I saw a disappointing performance by John Ralston there.


I promote shows there.
I pre-order new things that I'm excited about there.

I have the number in my phone.
I know everyone who works there.

And now it's closing.

When I found out, my first words to the guy behind the desk were
"What am I gonna do between classes now??"

I'm just so sad that it's closing :-(

Oh and my favorite teacher isn't coming back next year either.
And theatre history will be taught by grad students.

Blasting: Parachute Musical: Remember
02 April 2009 @ 12:39 pm
So last night I went to go see Rocco DeLuca play an acoustic set at Park Ave CDs.

I've known for a while that he was playing the Social last night. And I had every intention of going...he sings "Colorful" which is one of my most favorite songs of all time. The lyrics resonate with me so much because I feel like he's describing me...and I want so badly for someone to think those things about me as well:

But then I realized that he's promoting his new album...which I took a listen to and didn't dig nearly as much as his old stuff.  So I decided to save my money and forgo this one.  BUT THEN!  I got an e-mail from Park Ave on Tuesday morning saying that he was doing a surprise acoustic set.  So why not?  See him for free, up close and personal.


So I went and it was AWESOME.  And he was fantastic and brilliant and it was a really great set. 

I really really really really really wanted him to play Colorful, but it wasn't looking like it was going to happen.  I wanted to shout it out so badly, but I got nervous.  And I figured he probably wouldn't have been able to because he's a busy guy and probably had to run to the gig downtown.  My friend was willing to shout it out for me...but I told him no.  I didn't want to cause any problems or anything.

So I bought the CD and got him to sign it.  He was really nice, so I told him all about Colorful and how it's one of my top 10 favorite songs ever....

ROCCO: Oh you should have told me!  I would have played it tonight!
SHELBY: Seriously??  Oh man!......I mean is it over?  Can you still get back up there?
ROCCO: Yea I'm finished here....

.....but I'll tell you what.
If you come to The Social tonight, I'll play it just for you.
SHELBY: Seriously?
SHELBY: Nahh......it was probably already on the set list
ROCCO: Actually it's not.  But if you come and you shout it out, I'll play it.
SHELBY: Wow!  Well I might stop in then!
ROCCO: Yea you should!

So me and my friend were thinking about going...because that is SO COOL.  But ultimately...why spend the money on a full concert when you're just going for one act that you'd already seen that night?  You know?  So we decided to catch him next time.  I didn't really care last night.

But now I'm sitting here thinking about HOW COOL that is.  Like...to have a song that you listen to all the time.  That you breathe and cry to and love.  And to tell the person who wrote it how much it means to you.  And to have them not only know what it means to you....but to offer TO PLAY IT JUST FOR YOU.

Like when I realized the magnitude of that (12 hours later mind you) I just started crying.  That is so. amazing.  And I will never forget Rocco DeLuca and the kindness that he showed me last night.  I'm glad I bought the new CD for him to sign.  I may not like it quite as much as the old stuff...but I'm really glad I got to support him.  Because his support for me was absolutely wonderful :-)

And that's my super amazing awesome story of the week.  Not a whole lot of those lately...but Parachute's coming in 13 days, so I'm sure I'll have more to talk about soon!

Stuck at: dorm
Shelby is: thankfulthankful
Blasting: Rocco DeLuca and The Burden: Bright Lights
24 March 2009 @ 07:24 pm
It's like...
I'm sick of boys.
But I'm sick of being alone.

So I just feel....sick.

Stuck at: costume shop
Shelby is: sillysilly
Blasting: Parachute Musical: Leave Me
29 January 2009 @ 12:15 pm
And like...at this point normally I would cry and freak out
But I can't

No tears are coming out
And then I feel dumb for crying in the first place.

I just have this ginormous to do list in my head
And PHYSICALLY no time to do it in

And it sucks
A lot

11 Days Til Freedom...
Stuck at: dorm
Blasting: Forgive Durden: The Missing Piece (live on purevolume)
29 January 2009 @ 12:02 pm
I feel like I'm dying
Stuck at: Dorm
Blasting: Tom & Jerry
12 January 2009 @ 04:03 pm
I'm so done with him making me feel this way.

...but whenever we're together,
I forget all the waiting.

I forget all the bullshit.

Everything melts and it's just me and him.

Then he leaves,
And I remember why I can't stand him.
Stuck at: dorm
Shelby is: depresseddepressed
Blasting: The OC
30 December 2008 @ 10:57 pm
I posted that entry
And then moped
And ate chocolate
And cried
A lot

And my mom came in to say goodnight
And I cried all over her

And we came to some conclusions.
Conclusions that I knew already...but it was nice to say them out loud.

And I could sit here and talk about my deep rooted self esteem issues
And how I clearly need professional help

But instead,
I'm going to talk about my New Year's Resolution

Because I've published my resolutions for the past two years
And they always seem to work
At least for a little while.

I need to put an emphasis on ME TIME
in the new year
I need to realize that hanging out with my friends is not everything.
It's fun
But it's not everything
I need to be at peace with staying in
And being by myself
And not get depressed every time it happens

What will enforce this?
Bringing back gym time.

Now this is not in an attempt to lose weight like most new year's resolutions
Last year it was even to make myself look pretty
(for me, not for men)
And what it did for me last year was immeasurable.

I made time every. single. day. for the gym.
I remember hopping out of Ben's car right in front of the gym at 10:40pm so that I could squeeze in an hour before it closed.
I ALWAYS made time for the gym.

And I lost weight.
And I felt good.
And most importantly,
I spent an hour by myself every single day with my phone in a completely different building.

That's right
I don't bring my phone to the gym with me
The gym is a sacred place
Just me and my iPod
And endorphines

I love it.

And now it's harder to find gym time.
I work early.
I have class in the day time.
I have rehearsal at night.
And I have to squeeze in homework whenever I can.

But I feel like I can make time.
I feel like if I spend less time knocking around with Nicki and Nikki after classes,
That there will be time for the gym
And if I make it a priority
Like it should be
Then maybe I'll feel better about everything
Just because I had an hour to myself
Where I was doing something that was good for myself.

I could talk about this forever.
But you get the point.

I've now officially published my New Year's Resolution.
Here's to making it work!

Stuck at: home
Shelby is: optimisticoptimistic
Blasting: Will & Grace
13 December 2008 @ 02:14 am
It's Saturday, December 13th, 2008.
2:10 AM

And I just finished my Design Basics Portfolio.

Meaning I'm done with Design Basics.


FALL 2008.

And I'm crying like a bitch right now.

Like...I honestly can't believe I survived it.

This has been the longest
most intense
15 weeks of my ENTIRE life.

And I made it out alive!
And I'm crying so hard right now...like you wouldn't even believe it.

This is probably the best I've ever felt
...in a weird kind of way...

You know...since I'm delirious from cutting cardstock for 12 hours...





P.S. My grades were stellar this semester.  How did that happen?
Stuck at: dorm
Shelby is: crazycrazy
Blasting: my sobs